Schadenfreude – Spurs Style

April 3, 2002 | Leave a Comment

“SPURS SOUVENIR SHOP CATALOGUE LIST

SPURS TABLECLOTHS – Suitable for any occasion but tend to slip down the table after a short time – ?4:99

SPURS VIDEOS – All the highlights from the last 20 years action. This 10 min video, including lots of re-runs, is a perfect gift for any fan – ?9:99

SPURS BANNERS – Come complete with interchangeable slogans Eg:- “”GROSS OUT”", “”SUGAR OUT”", “”GRAHAM OUT”", “”LET ME OUT”" etc.. ?15:00

“”OUR LITTLE HERO”" KEYRINGS – Come complete with model of Alan Gilzean (Our Hero) attached. – 0.50p each.

SPURS JOKE BOOK – A MUST for all fans. This 900 page book is full of all the best jokes ever told about the club. – ?25:00

SPURS CONDOMS – Come in sizes from “”Little Hero”" to “”BIG LES”". Ideal for the pricks in the Paxton Road End. – ?0:75p for life-times supply.(3)

SPURS BRA – One for the ladies. This bra, in team colours, comes with good support but no cups- ?14:99

SPURS ‘LADIES’ TOWELS – The ‘Darren Anderton’ sanitary towel, complete with instructions, “”In for a week, Out for a month”". – ?1:00 each

KEEPER’S GLOVE – A must for any fans at the back of the stand, or near the corner flags to catch any shots our lads may have at goal. ?8:99

LEAGUE DIRECTORY – An item for the more discerning fan. This quality publication gives detailed directions to every ‘Nationwide’ League Ground in the country. A snip at just ?25:00

SPURS LIPSTICK – Ideal for kissing goodbye. (To the Premier League, as worn by our players) ?0:99p each

BARGAIN BASEMENT – Don’t miss the annual clearance sale of players. These come in all ages, (many are free of charge, spares or repairs)

“

Posted by Mr Zog | Filed Under Spursfreude 

More Spurs fun

April 3, 2002 | Leave a Comment

“To get us all in the mood for this weekend, here’s some more Spurs comedy.

A female spurs fan walks into a chemist and asks the assistant for some bum deodorant.The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell bum deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the scummer assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.

“”I’m sorry,”" says the pharmacist, “”we don’t have any.”"

“”But I always get it here,”" she says.

“”Do you have the container it comes in?”"

“”Yes!”" said the bimbo, “”I’ll go home and get it.”"

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, “”This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.”"

The annoyed devil worshipper snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, “”To apply, push up bottom.”"

69″

Posted by Mr Zog | Filed Under Schadenfreude