“My commets, as always, (IN ALL CAPS):
Klinsmann, Hoddle back at the Lane (NO ONE ELSE WANTED THEM)
Jurgen Klinsmann will return to White Hart Lane to play alongside Glenn Hoddle as Tottenham take on American MLS side DC United in a match to raise money for our former players on Thursday, October 17. (YES, GREAT IDEA. BY ALL MEANS LET’S RAISE MONEY FOR FORMER PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES. HOW ABOUT A CHARITY MATCH FOR THE FANS WHO’VE ENDURED CRAP SPURS FOOTBALL FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS?)
The Tottenham Tribute Match will kick off at 7.45pm with specially reduced tickets for children at ?5 a seat. (HAVEN’T THE CHILDREN SUFFERED ENOUGH?)
The last competitive game Glenn Hoddle played in Tottenham colours at White Hart Lane was on May 4, 1987 (HE HAS YET TO MANAGE SPURS IN A GAME IN WHICH THEY HAVE BEEN COMPETITIVE), and Jurgen Klinsmann last played at the ground on May 10, 1998. (AND THAT POINT HIS WILL TO LIVE, LET ALONE PLAY WAS GONE).
The Club was approached by the Tottenham Tribute Trust to host the match at White Hart Lane. (IT WAS THEIR FIFTH CHOICE) Proceeds from the tribute match will go to the Tottenham Tribute Trust fund to benefit former players of the Club (THAT’S OK, SOL’S MAKING PLENTY OF MONEY, WHAT WITH THE BONUSES FOR WINNING TROPHIES WITH ARSENAL). Funds will be distributed to ex-players by an independent panel of trustees, which will include members of the Tottenham Hotspur Supporters’ Trust (THST) (RULE #1 NEVER TRUST A SPURS SUPPORTER).
The idea of the Tottenham Tribute was initiated by Club Chairman, Daniel Levy, and developed in conjunction with members of the THST. (YES, GREAT IDEA. NEXT THEY’LL SUGGEST A TRIBUTE MATCH FOR FORMER SPURS EXECUTIVES)
THST Chairman Peter Haring commented: “”This is a great way of helping ex-players that are experiencing difficult times. Fans will have the opportunity of seeing two of Tottenham’s greatest (GREATEST WHAT? DIVERS AND PSUEDO-RELIGIOUS NUTJOBS?) whilst giving a helping hand to past heroes of the Club.”"
Tickets are available immediately though the Club’s online ticket booking service at www.spurs.co.uk. (TICKETS ALSO AVAILABLE AT WWW.SADIST.COM) This service is normally only available for Club members but on this occasion, is available for both season ticket holders and Club members. (AND AFTER THEY PASS, WE’LL BE PASSING OUT TICKETS TO PEOPLE ON THE STREET)
Tickets will be available by phone on Tuesday October 1, 2002 and will go on general sale from Friday October 4, 2002. (THE REMAINING 20,000 TICKETS WILL BE USED AS A FORM OF PUNISHMENT FOR PRISON INMATES WHO BEHAVE BADLY)
289″
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