Arsenal America

When you cast an eye on the premiership table after the first two games of the year it is already clear that there is a three horse race for the title. Arsenal, Man U. and Chelsea have become the Rangers and Celtic of the premiership. The English trio are leaps and bounds above the rest of the pack and the gap this year looks wider than ever.
I am hardly sticking my neck out when I say that either Celtic or Rangers will win the Scottish title. I am not saying anything earth shattering either by proclaiming that Man U, Arsenal or Chelsea are the only contenders for the English version. Liverpool are the Aberdeen of the Premiership. They used to be quite good when they had a decent manager and have a couple of good players but they are an irrelevancy now and please stop living in the past. Newcastle and Middlesboro are the Edinburgh teams of the top flight Hearts and Hibernian. Yes they have an excellent rivalry due to their close geographical location but they really are not very good and haven’t won a title since there was a King of England.

Tottenham are Partick Thistle . Yes they are from the same town as Celtic and Rangers like Tottenham with Arsenal and Chelsea in London but like with Partick no kid over 16 outside of England has ever heard of Tottenham. What they both share is an unbelievable knack of staying in the top flight without playing good football or making any headlines.

The Dundee teams are the other Manchester also rans, City and Blackburn. No one can pin point Dundee on a map and there are just as few who know where Blackburn is. (Apparently Blackburn fans do know this but judging by their attendance record they are either liars or are not very good at reading maps. )

The other similarity between these 4 aforementioned teams is that they spend most of their footballling lives in a division that doesn’t really exist but should. It is called the “not good enough for the top flight but too good for the First Division division.” If you are unclear what I am saying then just think of West Ham.

The final similarity between the Scottish and English leagues is that there are teams in both that are useless and have stupid names. I just spoke to my sister back home in London but I didn’t feel the need to start up a team and name it after her. i.e. Motherwell. Similarly Wolverhampton Wanderers is far too long a name for a football team. The second part of their name seems to be fitting as their entire footballing staff seems to be Wandering around the pitch wondering , ” oh my god how on earth can we be in the premiership?”
The B.B.C World Service News now runs eight seconds late because it takes so long to read out the premiership results each Saturday at five to five.

What a delight the first half was on Sunday against Boro. What a difference a week of no football can make. Freddie looks like a new signing. Toure looked solid, quick, ambitious and reliable. Gilberto lasted the distance and looked even better than a slightly sluggish Viera. Henry was unbelievable but once he had scored and the result was beyond doubt he remembered that he had dinner plans and didn’t want to exhaust himself. Wiltord has a split footballing personality. On his good days like Sunday he is a pleasure to have in the team and on a howler he is best used as a corner flag as his ghostly like performance puts us a man down before we have started.. I wish he had a third personality where he acts like most players meaning that he shows up, does his best and plays average.

Yesterday’s result and performance was very much like the game against Man City last year. It promised much but can we maintain this kind of performance for a whole season with this squad taking into account injuries and in Arsenal’s case suspensions? If we can we will end up like Glasgow Rangers last year; a glorious treble being chased hard by Celtic all year but hanging on. Otherwise we will be Glasgow Celtic. , the also rans , the ever so close and the team who is up at the top but not quite good enough to pull it off.