Arsenal America

I won’t make you read the introduction about “TW3″ again, and get right down to business..

You had a feeling this was coming in the wake of the chaos at the end of the match Sunday. Sky Sports which broadcast the match (and curiously enough, owns 10% Manchester United FC) led the way, comdemning Arsenal to man-particularly its manager as if Arsene Wenger perhaps instructs his players to behave this way - re-playing each unsavory incident(provided the incident didn’t involve a Manchester United player behaving less-than-properly)and neglecting to reflect on the questionable decisions that failed to condemn Arsenal or its behavior (No re-plays of the Henry off-side that never-should-have-been or of the first Vieira yellow which never should have been given or of Fortune tackling Lehmann or Gary Neville trying to slug Parlour) And given that Sky TV would furnish the video for the Video Advisory Panel to review that couldn’t bode well.

But Sky’s one-sidedness was absolutely positively NOTHING to that of the paper journalists who across the board called for suspensions, fines, and even points deductions while praising VanNistlerooy and defending his behavior to a fault. Actually, that was pretty much was Sky Sports was saying too. But that was one network as opposed to dozens of broadsheets and red tops. There was a sense that Arsenal FC is out of control, like some gang of thugs roaming the streets and causing all manner of havoc when even a relegation-zone side from two or three decades would likely beat the piss out of this lot of millionare footballers (or footballeurs). Still this mob was threatening the game of football and setting bad examples for the young football supporters. There was nothing good anyone had to say about Arsenal at all.

And then there was James Lawton at the Independent. I think the likes of Goebbels could learn from this so-called journalist who writes with all the objectivity of the former Iraqi Information Minister, better known as the Bald Guy. Lawton clearly hates Arsenal, and has for some time, although the reasons are not nearly so clear, and it comes through in his writing. Arsenal has no virtues whatsoever in his eyes and are underserving of any honors of any kind for club or players. And he lets his readership know this every chance he gets. He seems less a journalist than a wind-up merchant who took some (very) creative writing courses.

And Lawton let loose from the end of the 93rd minute. Arsenal were guilty of a “disgusting gang action” and a “spewing of hatred” (that was certainly true in this article) Lawton actually states the belief that “career-threatening tackles or a mass punch-up” are “less sickening” than Sunday’s incident with the “horrific gloating and physical aggression” on display. I’ll just guess Mr. Lawton’s mother wouldn’t let her Little Jamie go with Dad and Big Sis to White Hart Lane because the mean hooligans might get him and rough him up a bit.
Lawton is far, far from done, talking of “scenes which may not be banished from the mind for a long time, if ever”,he says “you are defied not to have your stomach turn”…I think we all are reading this crap. I know I am - and it’s turning.

The real irony in all this is that in another incisive piece Lawton said the behavior was worsened by the fact that it took place over something as trivial as a football match. Note to Mr. Lawton - YOU, Sir are the one making this sound so overly important, even in a football-only context and describing events as though you were witnessing a battle in Sarajevo or Mogadishu. Irregardless of your feelings or opinions-YOU are the one making this sound so much more important than in fact it is. I’m gonna guess Mummy wouldn’t even let you read the S***s match reports in the Independent from the REALLY bad days on the pitch and on the terraces because she didn’t want you to have bad dreams after. This just wasn’t “A Clockwork Orange” or “28 Days After”. Hell, the fight between Bridget Jones’ foppish boyfriends was more violent. Come on man…

But obviously Mr. Lawton did NOT get that fax. He is not satisfied by a LONG shot.He defends VanNistlerooy who he still believes will be named Footballer of the Year for last season and will be happy to confiscate Thierry Henry’s trophy and deliver it to Ruud. Lawton notes “his reputation as a cheat is hugely inflated” and “a travesty of reality”.

Patrick Vieira however is still “slipping out of control”, “something quite shocking” for “someone of his responsiblity”. Even as he notes himself that he has fewer career red cards than Roy Keane who is now fully rehabilitated, even though before Sunday he had just as many red cards as the criminal Vieira the last two years - a fact Lawton curiously neglects to note in his highly detailed analysis (insert deadpan sarcasm…HERE.)

Lawton goes on to describe precisely what he saw happen: “Vieira then lashed out with his foot, Van Nistelrooy stepped back sharply - as people tend to do in such circumstances - and looked at the referee with an expression which asked “what was that all about?”

What it was, and it was fortunate that the referee was close enough to see, was still another example of the Arsenal captain slipping out of control.” I know that’s what we all saw. And Lawton doesn’t note that this was the second(and only deserved)yellow and never addresses the first yellow - I guess even he can’t lie THAT much…Naaaaah…

But he is clear who is at fault - Arsene Wenger. He is on a crusade against Wenger and barely conceals it:”Until Sunday, the strongest argument that could be put to Wenger was that he needed to act in his own interests… Wenger’s players behaved in a way that was quite unacceptable, and at last he should have the courage to say so….whether or not he does is beside the point.

The FA must…punish Arsenal in a way that truly hurts - and Wenger, and his conspiracy theories, can go where he chooses. Given the brilliant gifts he has otherwise bestowed upon the English game, we have to hope it is not straight to his wardrobe with a bag to pack, but if that is the case, so be it. The most luminous football in the world could never begin to justify the squalor of what we saw from Arsenal at Old Trafford.”

He’s NOT going to manage S***s, Mr. Lawton. This isn’t George Graham you’re writing about. So give it up, Jamie Boy…

Right, the hyperbolic Lawton just can’t let it be no matter how silly it really is. He quotes a like mind(a frightening concept in itself)who agonizes over the “squalor” and says “It was one of the worst things I have seen in 50 years of watching football in all corners of the world. I didn’t know whether to vomit or to cry.” Does Heysel Stadium ring a bell? Or the Hillsborough Tragedy? Or Mark-Vivien Foe’s death? I don’t know whether to vomit or cry reading this.

And yet Lawton insists he is guilty neither of overstating the seriousness of this or of bias against Arsenal, implying he is one of “those who look beyond labels and tribal prejudice and see what is in front of their eyes” NOW I know whether to vomit or cry…

One question: what would Mr. Lawton think of ice hockey?