A new ally, and a new villain, make their debuts, as G. Rex fights the never-ending battle for Truth, Justice, and the ArsenalAmeica Way!
It was a Wednesday, as I recall. I had a colleague over, and had sent out for lunch. Yeah, you guessed it – pizza. Half pepperoni, half partially decomposed marsh grasses.
I was trying to find out from my colleague – we’ll just call him “Secret Agent 85?” for now – the true identity of “the Skirt.” She had hired me a few weeks ago to put the kibosh on the Bobby Convey deal. Well, you know what that got Glenn Hoddle – a sack. The kind without any potatoes. I knew 85? knew who the Skirt was, but he wasn’t telling me.
He tried to explain, in his high-pitched, slightly nasal voice, “She’s an MIT-educated rocket scientist, who moonlights as a super-model.” I wasn’t buying it, and he knew it. “Would you believe, a mechanical illustrator from Boise State?” More plausible, but I still wasn’t biting. “Would you believe, an auto shop instructor from the local community college?”
Just then came a knock at the door. Lunch had arrived, but I wasn’t very hungry anymore. I just had to find out more about the Skirt. What a dame. She stuck in my mind like bubble gum in Yosemite Sam’s mustache.
As soon as I opened the door, in rushed the deliveryman. “I got yer pizza right here,” he blurted in a vaguely Dutch accent. Slightly built, and very fast, he had a beak that would make a toucan blush. “Hey, what’s with the dinosaur get-up? Burp. Now gimme the money, and don’t stiff me on the tip,” he continued, as he wiped a bit of crusted scrambled egg off the corner of his mouth with his red shirtsleeve.
It was then that I knew whom I was dealing with. Yeah, you guessed it. It was none other than… Rude man Pizza-boy!
Agent 85? was on to him, too. He crumpled a ten-spot into a ball and tossed it high in Rude man Pizza-boy’s direction. As Rude waited for the ball to arrive, I jumped up and landed right on his back, making sure to get one of my (size 45 EEEEEEE) Nike’s planted in his rib cage.
As Rude man Pizza-boy struggled feebly beneath the heft of my costume, 85? began eating some pizza, and started, “Alright, G. Rex, I’ll tell you who the Skirt really is. Gee, you know, this topping is really delicious…”
“You realize you’re eating partially decomposed marsh grasses, don’t you?” I asked.
After a slight pause he replied, “And loving every minute of it!”
How will our heroes dispense with Rude man Pizza-boy? Is the Skirt really a rocket scientist? Will Graham George ever make a return appearance? And what about Yevgheny, Miss Prunella Face, and Paul “Gazzo” Gazzoween?
The answers to these and other questions when The Continuing Adventures of G. Rex Continue!
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