Arsenal America

Nice to see the former Sp*rs boss being so tactful about his dismissal. Sorry for the length, but this was too good to pass up. MY COMMENTS IN CAPS.
- Jason

Glenn Hoddle today launched a stinging attack on Tottenham caretaker-manager David Pleat, insisting he should be given the job on a permanent basis because any incoming new boss will be unable to work with him as director of football. (JUST LIKE NO PLAYERS COULD WORK WITH HIM AS MANAGER)

Hoddle, sacked as manager of Spurs last month, believes Pleat would be ‘obstructive’ to whoever is appointed as his successor, and feels he has his own ‘agenda’ (KEEPING SPURS MEDIOCRE) which produces a ‘disruptive’ influence behind the scenes.

The attack by Hoddle - who has decided to respond after being upset by a newspaper interview given by Pleat last week in which he was critical of his management style - will send shockwaves throughout White Hart Lane (MUCH LIKE WHEN SP*RS ACTUALLY SCORE) at a time when the board are already under pressure to get things right on and off the pitch.

Hoddle explained: ‘In order to get the success the fans crave, in my opinion, there is only one solution - give David the job because the position he holds at the club is making it enormously difficult for a manager to succeed. (BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW A MANAGER HAS NO INFLUENCE ON WINS AND LOSSES WHATSOEVER)

‘He was so obstructive towards me, never working in harmony with me and always working towards his own end. (AS OPPOSED TO THINKING WITH HIS OWN END LIKE HODDLE)

‘The job will be made just as difficult for any new manager coming in; this is the reason why I believe he should have the job on his own. (WHY MAKE TWO PEOPLE SUFFER?)

‘Let him take on the responsibility and without his disruptive intervention behind the scenes, the fans might just get their success.’ (HODDLE THEN POURED ANOTHER SHOT OF ABSINTHE FOR HIMSELF)

Hoddle insisted he was reluctant to speak out because he loved the club so much, and that he would have preferred to have continued to keep a low profile. (LORD KNOWS HODDLE HATES THE SPOTLIGHT)

However, after reading Pleat’s comments last week he felt ‘enough was enough,’ especially as it was not the first time Pleat had criticised him during his career.

The former England coach claimed: ‘It is not the first time David has felt the need to attack me after I have left Spurs.

‘In June 1987 I left the club as a player having given 13 good years of service. Most people said “thanks and good luck for the future” but David (who was manager at the time) waited until I left and then criticised me as a player and said Spurs would be a far better team without me. (IF HE HAD SAID “FAR MORE MEDIOCRE”, PLEAT WOULD BE HOSTING A PSYCHIC SHOW NOW)

‘Ironically that season Spurs went on to have mixed fortunes - I won a French Championship medal. (ACTUALLY, IT WAS JUST A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE WRAPPED IN GOLD FOIL, BUT THEY DIDN’T WANT TO HURT HIS FEELINGS)

‘In fact, when I went back to the club as manager two-and-a-half years ago, I was prepared to forgive and forget. (MOST SP*RS FANS WANT TO FORGET)

‘I could have told the board that I was not prepared to work with David but I am not that sort of person (HA!) and in any case Tottenham were far more important than any issues between the two of us.

‘It seems David lacked the strength of character to address these issues face to face and not once did he volunteer any of his observations whilst I was there - clearly he had his own agenda.’ (”0900 - STINK, 1100 - REALLY STINK…”)

Hoddle is hoping his response to Pleat’s attack will draw a close to the matter and that he can get on with his search for a new job. (UP UNTIL NOW, HODDLE HAS JUST STOOD OUTSIDE ON THE STREET WITH A SIGN SAYING “WILL BREAK PLAYERS’ SPIRIT FOR FOOD”)

He continued: ‘No-one should underestimate how much it hurt when I left Tottenham after just six matches of this season, having put together essentially a new team. Despite what happened to me I still deeply care for the club.

‘It was an honour to play for Spurs and even more of an honour to be the club’s manager. (ABOUT AS HONOURABLE AS BEING THE GUY WHO CLEANS THE ELEPHANT CAGE AT THE ZOO)

‘The fans have been great to me, from the beginning right to the very last game, they were solidly behind me. (EVIDENTLY, HODDLE EXPERIENCED HEARING LOSS WHILE AT SP*RS)

‘I have kept a very low profile since I left Spurs; this is out of my respect for the club and supporters.

‘I left on reasonable terms and would never want to hurt the club (OTHER CLUBS DO THIS WELL ENOUGH), so I was shocked and disappointed when I saw the unnecessarily vicious attack made against me by David Pleat earlier this week.

‘I was prepared to get on with the rest of my life and close the chapter, but it seems I haven’t been given the chance.

‘There comes a time when enough is enough and this is why I have had to respond.

‘It is a shame that I have had to come out and say these things; I’ve still got respect for the club (UPON HEARING THAT, A PARADE WAS THROWN AROUND WHITE HART LANE) and the people who were sincere to me.

‘I wish the club every success, especially for those wonderful fans who stayed right behind me until the end. (HE ESPECIALLY WANTED TO THANK THE ONES WHO ONLY FIRED WARNING SHOTS AT HIM)

‘It would be nice to draw a line under all this now and I look forward to getting back into football management as soon as possible.’