Arsenal America

When last we saw our heroes, G. Rex and a man simply known as “Secret Agent 85 ?,” they were disposing of an annoying lunch deliveryman, and pondering the true identity of that knockout of a dame, “the Skirt.” But unknown to them, strange events are unfolding just across town…

In a dark, dank saloon, a fetching young lass nurses her amaretto sour. Though rather attractive, it is clear this young lady is despondent, and deep in thought – as if she is pondering her next, desperate move. Five foot two, and in as blue a mood as the scarf around her neck, it is Miss Prunella Face, also known as “that crying chick from the Spursenfreude page on arsenalamerica.com.”

Just then, a figure with two suitcases bounds into the dimly lit room. “Just flew in from China, Pru, and boy, are my arms tired!” blurts the bounder. It is, of course, Paul “Gazzo” Gazzoween, Miss Face’s former beau and cohort. Gazzo stops dead in his tracks, however, because he immediately recognizes that Miss Face’s face is more downcast as ever. “Pru, love, you look as sad as the last time the club got knocked out of a cup tournament. And what are you doing here? This place smells worse than the loo at me local!”

At that moment, the bartender speaks from the darkness. “Gazzo, did you check the sign on your way in here?” With that, Gazzo pokes his head out the front door and, thanks to his third grade education, discerns the name of the establishment.

“‘The Loo at Me Local!’ What a brilliant name!” exclaims the dim-witted Tyne-sider. It is then that the bartender emerges from the shadows, sliding a Newky Brown in Gazzo’s direction. It is none other than Graham George, whom we last saw soiling his trousers at a local airport!

Gazzo is speechless, so Miss Face chimes in. “Gazzo, I have news for you. I have a new cohort. He’s in the gents’ right now.”

Gazzo’s jaw drops as he sheepishly asks, “It ain’t Lou, is it?” Prunella glances at Graham, and Mr. George glances back at Miss Face. They don’t know of any Lou. For in lieu of Lou in the loo at ‘The Loo’ is that lulu of an annoying deliveryman, Rude man Pizza-boy! Rude comes out of the men’s room, and even before he can insult Gazzo, falls to the ground for no earthly reason whatsoever.

Just when Prunella thinks that her mood has plunged to the depths of the perigee of its nadir, the door to The Loo (not the loo) creaks open. A man in a trench coat and fedora steps in and speaks, in an eastern European accent. “Hello, dollink,” he says. Rude man Pizza-boy’s face lights up, until he realizes the man is speaking to Prunella. Prunella, temporarily cheered by the arrival of the evil Yevgheny (for who else could it be?), runs to him and gives him a great big bear hug. He continues, “Miss Face, I never thought I would hear from you since I defected to Chelski, let alone get a note from you asking me to come help you.”

“But I sent no such note,” murmurs Prunella, suddenly sullen again. Rude man Pizza-boy sulks on the beer-covered floor. Graham George sighs, quizzically. And Gazzo quietly sets his empty Newky Brown glass down on the bar, and finally drops his two suitcases.

What evil plan has drawn our antagonists together? Will G. Rex and Agent 85 ? be ready for their dastardly deeds, whatever they may be? And, will G. Rex ever pry the true identity of “the Skirt” from 85 ?? The answers to these, and more questions, in the next adventure of The Continuing Adventures Continue!