Its been kinda depressingly quiet around here, which is kind of alarming since The Arsenal played like the Champions they are on Boxing Day. Patrick Vieira seemed to benefit, as we all did, from Wenger’s inspirational comments regarding his importance to the club. Henry tied a record for the club, and Freddie announced his return by transferring his headache to the Cottagers by getting behind their defenses and under their skin. Another clean sheet for Almunia, and things are starting to look pretty splendiforously familiar around The Home of Football.
So I will assume that we’re all just tied up with holiday activities and such, and are storing up a lot of juicy tidbits to share prior to our thrashing of Newcastle on Wednesday. In an effort to breech this puzzling chasm and scare the crickets out of the columns, I bring you yet another glorious bit of news from our Old Trafford friends. Long may they continue to disgrace the game for the amusement of Gooners everywhere!
ROONEY [FECES] FACES WAIT FOR FA VERDICT
[English international manchild and mythological beast] Wayne Rooney will have to wait until Wednesday at the earliest to find out if he faces punishment for [goring and] shoving Tal Ben Haim in the face at Old Trafford on Boxing Day.
Rival bosses Sir Alex [The Necromancer] Ferguson and Sam Allardyce held contrasting views on the incident, with the United boss claiming [and desparately attempting to deflect more supporting evidence to his side's low class displays by stating that] the Bolton defender’s reaction was `an embarrassment’.
Allardyce agreed Ben Haim’s theatrical dive [no doubt an accidental surrender to a high level of good old ManU winertia] was over the top, but claimed contact had definitely been made - a view backed up by TV replays - and Rooney was fortunate to escape dismissal [a new series of distemper shots and a return to livestock obedience training].
Referee Dermot Gallagher appeared to miss the incident [get in line, good sir] and did not even award a free-kick against the United [half-horse half-] man , who was [pathetically over]reacting to allegations from Ben Haim that he had dived attempting to win a free-kick.
Gallagher will make his [too little, too late] observations known to the Football Association in his report of the [latest mauling in a] game, but it will not be reviewed by Soho Square officials until Wednesday.
It means Rooney will be free to [kill again as they] face Aston Villa tomorrow night but, if a violent conduct charge is brought [by some miracle intercedence of the Norse Council], [the grotesque hybrid] could miss the New Year’s Day trip to Middlesbrough.
Ferguson has [miraculously] already found himself on the wrong end of [damning] video evidence this season, losing Ruud van Nistelrooy for three games following the Dutchman’s lunge on Ashley Cole at Old Trafford earlier in the season [where punishment was once again avoided when it actually mattered].
And with van Nistelrooy [himself a minotaur but in reverse] sidelined for two months and Louis Saha out until the middle of January at the earliest, Ferguson cannot afford to lose another striker [or cheap shot allegation] from his squad.
I just love those crazy Red Devils!
Happy Holidays to you all, and how ’bout those Gunners!?!
25 Responses to “Rabid Minotaur Wreaks Havoc at Football Match!”
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December 24th, 2004 at 10:52 am
Well put KYG…
we are playing 2 teams that are not near playing their best football. Great opportunity to keep the good form flowing in a positive direction. I hope we continue to play some different players during this holiday period bonanza of games in rapid fire succession!
I like Arsenal 2-0 over Fulham
I like Arsenal 3-1 over Newcastle
shocking, I know… me picking Arsenal to win!
Happy Holidays to you all…
December 24th, 2004 at 10:58 am
Oh, by the way…
Wenger has again reiterated that he has no intention of buying ANYONE in the January transfer window, unless it is an amazing bargain. He said the prices are inflated on players and he feels he has no need unless Edu leaves by signing a pre-arrangement with another club.
Some of you folks will be all in a lather. I like our team as is, and believe we can win anything and everything with the current team. Although after doing a bit of research on Ledley King… I wouldn’t mind taking him from the misfits down the road!
December 24th, 2004 at 11:17 am
I think that no matter who we’re playing, our opponents look at the game as more than an opportunity to pick up points. I sometimes imagine these little trophies being circulated by some secret football society, awaiting the moment when a team can best The Arsenal so they can be added to some very special, shrine-like trophy cases. Teams find bottle where they didn’t have it before when they play us. It becomes not just a day of a possible upset, as it would be against Chelsea, but a career benchmark. A chance to shine in an otherwise dull run of performances, win or lose.
Its too flattering.
And sometimes I get the feeling that The Arsenal know this, and that knowledge puts their form into a place where they want to strut through a game, and give their opponents and their opponent’s fans their glimpse of that star power that they crave. No matter what the Blues do this year, they just don’t have that IT factor like we do. Nowhere is that more evident than in the confident, scowling swagger of our precious Henry. Its awestriking. But it has kept us from killing teams off now that the table has been showing more pluck and form than the beginning of the season.
If we go in with the sense that we don’t care about giving a show, or without awareness of our cachet, 90 minutes will pass and we will have the lion’s share of the goals.
So I hope that The Arsenal are on a path of shaking that sense of “delivering the goods”, and play their a**es off. If they do that for the rest of the season?ignore the luster of their majesty reenforced by the respect given them by their foes?they will WIN every single game from here on out. It is mental and it always will be with the men we have out there. Our team is really that good.
Arsenal 2 - 0 Fulham
Arsenal 2 - 1 Newcastle
Both games will not be as close as the score will make them appear.
COME ON GUNNERS!
December 24th, 2004 at 11:22 am
I think we have what we need, too…just need to get it consistent. But do you thinkg that Wenger may be paying a little too much attention to The Grove pricetag and subsequent legal fees? I applaud frugality and common sense, but in case anyone in the boxes at Highbury haven’t noticed, there’s a few monsters in our backyard and the season ain’t getting any easier.
Can we get up a collection from Gooners worldwide? Surely we could buy King with no more than a few dollars/pounds/euros from each of us. Don’t even want a receipt.
December 24th, 2004 at 12:16 pm
King would be a good buy, but I think it’s best to wait till the season to end. He’s close to three years under contarct, so it won’t be easy. How about bringing back Upson? He’s much further along. Keown did leave and return.
December 24th, 2004 at 12:25 pm
We should win both, but won’t want to keep it close. Fulham can be tricky. Only glad Lauren Robert is being kept on the bench. He has a good record against us. If he could improve his work rate, I’d sure like to see him at Highbury. Poor Souness. How do you whip up that indisciplined bunch and still get them to play for you?
Watched the Pompey game, Lua was a handful. We weren’t so bad, but could be much better. I think we were a bit of a smallish team. We missed Freddie, and Clichy was uncomfortable in his new role. Pires played well, but I find it hard to believe the boos didn’t rattle him. I’d also like to see something of Jermaine this festive spell of games.
I just hope Sol keeps trying his luck from way out. he used to be a striker, you know.
December 25th, 2004 at 9:12 am
i’ve just bloody well had enough of patrick vieira. he is playing useless……….only joking stag! may christmas be a time to let bygones be bygones and give everyone a second chance.
6 points should be coming, newcastle’s only chance of scoring against us a laurent robert scorcher. close him down we should be fine
December 25th, 2004 at 10:54 am
you got me Mazza!
Have a great Christmas…. lets hope we roll right into the NewYear with a couple of convincing wins!
December 25th, 2004 at 11:39 am
Oddly enough…
on Soccernet today, the lead story is from Wenger saying Patrick Vieira will be a “GUNNER FOR LIFE”!
Surely that must piss off alot of the anti-Vieira brigade, but it made my Christmas! Thanks Arsene!
He believes Vieira will be among the most influential players in the EPL in the 2nd half of the season and could lead our Arsenal to the title. Vieira has played thru a couple of injuries all season long… which has limited his ability to be THE PATRICK VIEIRA.
Go gett’em Paddy… lead us to the promised land!
December 25th, 2004 at 2:22 pm
Saw that, too. Nice boost from the Gov’ner. But I thought we already knew this?
December 26th, 2004 at 2:35 pm
Anyone see the Fulham game? If so, it would be great to have a short report. Sounds like Freddie is frisky again?
Miranda
December 27th, 2004 at 12:45 pm
contrasting views indeed by Fergie and Fergie.
Why two seasons ago he said the reaction of the player is IRRELEVANT as Sol raised his hand. Ole ‘could have BROKEN AN EYE SOCKET’ he screamed.
Fergie also added that ‘anytime you raise an arm it is an automatic red no matter who you are or how a player reacts’.
Wo why did he change his outlook now pretty much saying that ‘Rooney had every right to shove someone int he face nearly BRAKING AN EYE SOCKET’ just cause the reaction
I mean what about the Rooney dive that started all this?
December 27th, 2004 at 1:15 pm
The current Manure consists of quite a few mobsters who go out to intimidate opponents - especially when things do not go their way. The biggest one of them is Fergie infamous for his boot in the eye of a certain Beckham. Rooney is on course for self-destruction (sorry England fans) ala Gazza many years ago with overly aggressive play and disregard towards others. The aggression level displayed by Rooney is similar to a younger Keano and Keano’s heir apparent, the demented peroxide Smith.
Fergie should now understand why referees are more wary of Manure players in view of the aftermath of the game against Arsenal and all the subsequent transgressions from his players. I hope the FA slaps a 3 game ban on Rooney soonest. I hate those b*******.
December 27th, 2004 at 1:44 pm
Well Scotty…
I think its a tad bit quiet because, WHO SAW THE MATCH? It wasn’t on PPV or Fox or at the Pub or anywhere. I didn’t even see highlights on FoxSports… they just showed the score?!?
How’s that for a lack of respect for the Champions?
So, as I correctly predicted a 2-0 win for the Arsenal, I was very happy to see us post the clean sheet. I would have at least like to have seen a highlight or 2!
I read various accounts of the match, and apparently we played pretty well and were in command for most of the match. “comfortable win” was the way it was termed…
Now if we can turn on the flair and dismantle a struggling group in Newcastle… we just might be on to something big!
I love/want all the non-sense and media attention possible heaped upon both ManUtd and Chelsea. I’d love to have us just under the radar, thank you… winning and winning and winning some more. Perhaps Jose and Fergie can continue their love-fest of trash talk in the media… and United can hack the hell out of them in their home/away match in the League Cup. I hope there are injuries, controversial calls, and hatred spewing from Moronho and RedFace…
December 27th, 2004 at 2:02 pm
Its amazing…I don’t want to go on a tirade about our treatment in the media again cause I got spanked pretty hard for it last time. I’d like to think I’m objective when I need to be, because on the face of it it sounds ludicrous to imagine that one exists. But I suppose since so many of the hearts and minds of the world are in love with the Mancs, it could explain why we get short shrift.
Went to my local Borders book store the other day to look through the latest 4-4-2 and was disgusted to see that they now carry Man United magazine. Nearly bought them all to burn them in the parking lot, but decided that I didn’t want the resgister to be rewarded. Blech…
I’m with you, Stagg. I want them to ignore us as they post picture after picture of Rooney’s hideous face and every angle of Chelsea’s recent goal celebration. They are the strong favorites, even if memories seem a little short round the web.
BTW, I also predicted a 2-0 win, and that the score wouldn’t tell the whole story of how we dominated. I’ve got a 2-1 for Newcastle. Let’s hope I’m at least partially wrong.
And hey, how ’bout that Almunia?
December 27th, 2004 at 2:11 pm
Let the media fall in love with Chelsea for now. They always try to build up someone, to rip them down later. I turned on Fox at 10:02, hoping I hadn’t missed the highlights of Arsenal v. Fulham.
I figured they might lead with the Champions of English football!! Crazy, aye? First extended highlights of Chelsea. Then highlights of Man Utd’s splendid 1-0 demolition of Bolton… and then … the score flashed on the screen of Arsenal’s 2-0 win!!
I thought/said…. W.T.F.!!!
Whatever. I’d love to keep winning games… and have everyone keep watching showing the runner-ups to the Champions. They are going to have to show us lifting the CUP(s) in May!
December 27th, 2004 at 2:50 pm
I too was disgusted to see that my local Borders now carries ManUre magazine. The only thing that rag is good for is enriching the soil.
December 27th, 2004 at 3:04 pm
I’ve given some thought to hanging around the aisles and waiting for someone to pick it up, and then following them around the store throwing pizza Pringles at their head.
Perhaps I’ll just take them from where they’re displayed and put them next Out magazine.
December 27th, 2004 at 3:20 pm
Scotty, are you making an assumption that all of us here at ArseAm are heterosexual? Be careful with your jokes, please.
December 27th, 2004 at 3:34 pm
Stupid blunder. Anyone offended by my comments, please accept my deepest apologies. I had no intention of hurting anyone, as I hold no derogatory opinions of the kind. If I could take it back I certainly would.
Should of said True Crime like I was going to originally.
Again, truly sorry.
December 27th, 2004 at 6:08 pm
LOL
Loved the pizza pringles bit! Very funny Scotty, and creative. Low damage, high symbolism. I got lots of Arsenal treats over the holiday. My wife renewed my subscription to Arsenal magazine, I got the “501 Goals” DVD - which is awesome, I got a bumber sticker and two pins to put in my winter jacket, and I got an Arsenal t-shirt that looks great - white with red short sleeves and the badge on the left breast. I wore it yesterday when I went to the movie Ocean’s Twelve - and guess what - Arsenal was a non-speaking star in the movie! And to top it off, we beat Fulham. It was a good day my friend, a good day.
I hope you all had a good holiday, whatever you celebrate.
December 27th, 2004 at 8:47 pm
“…Arsenal was a non-speaking star in the movie!”
Mind explaining this a bit more Ice? Just curious…
December 27th, 2004 at 11:47 pm
well… the main characters are trying to escape unnoticed from a hotel that is being watched… they steal the warm-ups and bus that the Arsenal Football Club arrived in… and depart from the hotel. Arsenal displayed prominently for all to see!
December 28th, 2004 at 9:24 am
You know, I actually did sometihing similar to that. I was in Borders, looking for 442, when there was some snot-nosed kid with a “Horsiest-faced cheat” jersey on. I had my DB10 shirt on, and said, “Excuse me, make way for the Champions.” He just looked at me blankly, but moved out of my way so I could reach the top shelf of the magazine rack where 442 is displayed.
December 28th, 2004 at 9:39 am
Nice one. I was in a convenient store around here called Wawa (got ‘em in Philly, too) wearing my home kit, trying to order a sandwich on the touch-screen thingy. A student, and from the looks of it, “soccer” player, from a nearby Prep school (my alma mater, actually) had a Chelsea training jacket on. He saw my kit and more or less reflexively scoffed. I just calmly chuckled and said, “Champions.” Irrefutable.
Gods, I hope we gain ground come the January window. Thought I heard a rumor that the Chelsea physios limped Gallas off the field, took him out back, and shot him.