On my couch, for the past several weeks, has sat a paperback copy of Nick Hornby’s “About a Boy.” I’ve been meaning to re-read it for some time. Not so much for the story in the book, but to learn more about writing. You can tell, when you look at a well-crafted work, what’s gone into it. The effort, the toil, the patience.

Then, last week, I was confronted with Jimmy Fallon at Fenway Park. There in the “cheap” (read: expensive) “seats” (Why was he, after all, stainding?) being interviewed on network television. All I could think of was those SNL sketches with Rachel Dratch about the moron high-schoolers obsessed with the Red Sox. “You’wha reee-tahd!” “Nowah, you’wha reee-tahd!”

Then, it hit me. He’s plugging “Fever Pitch!” Jimmy, you’re going the extra mile to plug a film that’s already in the can, but won’t be out for months! You’re the MAN!

It didn’t even occur to me that they were shooting the alternate ending to the movie. After all, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Later, of course, after the Red Sox win, Jimmy’s swapping spit with Drew Barrymore on the emerald turf of Fenway Park. Eek, Jimmy, I hope you’ve had your shots.

There are several lessons to be learned here. First, let’s make certain that the Sp*rs don’t win another trophy for several decades longer than the Red Sox. Second, if Drew Barrymore wants to be your soul-mate, turn her down.

And, finally, when you option your book, don’t go to the Farrelly brothers. It’ll turn into “About a Girl.” Or, “How to Be Okay.” Or, “Medium Fidelity.”

Now, I’ll pick up the copy of “About a Boy.”

-G. Rex

DISCLAIMER: I went to college with Bobby Farrelly. He’s done some good work. I hope this is okay, too.

Deep in a shadowy alley lurk two figures, intent on scuppering ArsenalAmerica’s effort to become an officially recognized… Hey, wait a minute! I’m supposed to be writing this to you in “real life!”

Hi. I’m Charlie Kapp. You may know me better as “G. Rex,” the lovable enemy-fighting foe of such villains as the evil Yevgheny, Miss Prunella Face, and Paul “Gazzo” Gazzoween. But in real life, I’m a computer nerd, and an Arsenal fan since 1984. I am also, while you’ll still have me, Arsenal America’s Compliance Officer.

As Compliance Officer, it’s my job to make sure we’re obeying all the rules set out by AFC to obtain, and keep, status as an officially recognized supporters club. The rules are simple and usually obvious (we’re not official agents of the Club, we won’t make money doing this, we’ll have annual elections, etc.), but there are a lot of them. Perhaps most important, and what I’m working on now, is drawing up by-laws – which, of course, will incorporate many of the Club’s requirements. These will be presented to you for ratification in the coming weeks.

I’m excited to be involved in this effort for a number of reasons, foremost of which, I suppose, is simply the recognition itself. What you see here on this website is only a part of the tremendous work that Rick, Andrew, and others have put into Arsenal America. To have the Club’s recognition is kind of like when you’re in the away supporters’ section and the team members come over after the game and applaud back at you.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to contact me – charlie “at” arsenalamerica.com. And I promise a new rollicking adventure of G. Rex, Miss Face, et al., will be up on the site in the near future. Just as soon as I get these pesky by-laws finished.

Your friend,
G. Rex

Ed. Note – And let me just add…

If you?re interested in helping us achieve greatness by becoming a due-paying, ?Premier? member, please visit www.arsenalamerica.com/members