Aug 22
Just prior to his resignation from the Office of Total Information Awareness, Admiral Poindexter stopped by G. Rex’s place to drop off some intercepted correspondence. Enjoy!
Mr. Eric Djemba-Djemba
c/o Manchester United FC
Manchester, England
Dear Mr Djemba-Djemba:
Thank you for greeting me so kindly when last we met in Cardiff. Your follow-through is most, uh, interesting. I, along with several of my colleagues, from various teams in the land, look forward to seeing you again in the near future.
Sincerely (no, not really),
-Sol...
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Jul 28
He’s sent up the BBC’s Robbo. He’s sent up Sports Illustrated’s Steve Rushin. He’s sent up Rocket J. Squirrel. So to speak. He’s even sent up arsenal.com’s own Frank Butts. Now it’s the EINY’s turn to receive some good-natured ribbing from G. Rex.
What with the impending close to the close season’s impending arrival and not having filed a report in several weeks and with a plethora of run-on sentences figuratively bursting from my fingertips even with the severely sparse usage of “Our Friend Mr Comma,”...
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Jul 02
A daunting question, to be sure.
More daunting, perhaps, than the whole “who/whom” question suggested by the topic itself. After all, to whom is the puzzling enigma addressed? Sorry, I digress.
Ah, but who to pick? Well, there is only one.
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Jun 25
English translation: “I don’t know no nothing.”
Man, a long off-season. And, okay, so I’m sitting here. And, finally, it’s a nice sunny day here in our Nation’s Capital, Arlington, VA. Unlike sunny London Town. But that’s a different story.
So, I says to myself, I says, “I wonder what the heck Becks is up to today…?” So I gets myself on line.
Well, guess what? Real Madrid just hired Carlos Quieroz as their new head coach.
Wait a sec. Is this the same Carlos Quieroz that piloted (and I mean this in...
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Jun 18
Arsenal America’s Senior Humor Contributor, not one to shy from ridiculing the ridiculous, gives the ALL CAPS treatment to one of the BBC Online’s most recent Becks stories.
England footballer David Beckham has arrived in Japan on a SELF-promotional tour, hours after it was announced that he was moving to Real Madrid.
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May 09
Hear ye, hear ye!
Who: All Gooners in the DC area.
What: A pre-game social before DC United take on the hapless, feeble club with the dorky chickens on their jerseys.
When: Wednesday, May 14th, pre-game (approximately 4-7). Come when you may.
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Apr 15
When last we left our antic cast of characters, here was the scene. The evil Yevgheny, a slightly doltish figure of eastern European origin, and Miss Prunella Face (also known as “that crying chick from the Spursenfreude section of ArsenalAmerica.com”) were buzzing above the Chesapeake shoreline in their Sopwith Bulldog. They were trying to start a snow storm to scupper the launch of the new Arsenal America web site. And your humble narrator, G. Rex, was having his first encounter with a new, mysterious foe in the shadows of the College Park Aviation Museum. We cut to the action…...
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Apr 02
What is Tottenaria Dementia?
Tottenaria Dementia, or “TD”, is a rare (in the US) neurological disease, TD is believed to be caused by prions, the warped protein molecules also believed to cause mad cow disease. TD is a major public health risk, and with SARS (Sudden Acute Respiratory Syndrome) dominating all the public health headlines, a serious outbreak of TD could hit the US, unless there is a major TD education campaign.
What are the symptoms of TD?
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Apr 01
G. Rex comes to the rescue on another sloooow news day…
Like many of you, I’ve downloaded the informative and entertaining “Desktop Wenger” from the official arsenal.com web site. Every now and again, the amusing animated manager walks up on my computer to tell me all the latest Arsenal news. But I’ve also downloaded some other desktop managers, and my, are they cool!
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Mar 26
A lot of attention has been devoted to our Champions League exit lately, but I’ll tell you what. Compared to the League title and the FA Cup, I don’t give two shakes of my big, green, reptilian, cold-blooded tail about Europe.
What’s a European trophy? It’s the frame on the Mona Lisa. It’s the intermission music at a showing of Gone With The Wind. It’s the mint jelly that goes with your lamb. It’s the President James Garfield proof of the Pythagorean Theorem.
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