Ed. Note – With impeccable timing, G. Rex returns to help break the tension of the nerve-wracking fortnight to come. Take it away G….

In a continuing effort to keep all Arsenal America readers up to date, G. Rex reaches his big, green, fuzzy (especially for a reptile) paw into the mountain of mail to answer selected questions…

Alright, the first one is from Martha S., from Westport, Connecticut – though she says she might soon be relocating to Danbury. She writes:

Dear G. Rex:
I might have some free time on my hands in the near future. Do you think I might be able to make some doilies that would match the Arsenal America flag? Or perhaps I could suggest some recipes that might make your springtime all the more festive?
Primly, Martha

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When last we saw our heroes, G. Rex and a man simply known as “Secret Agent 85 ?,” they were disposing of an annoying lunch deliveryman, and pondering the true identity of that knockout of a dame, “the Skirt.” But unknown to them, strange events are unfolding just across town…

In a dark, dank saloon, a fetching young lass nurses her amaretto sour. Though rather attractive, it is clear this young lady is despondent, and deep in thought – as if she is pondering her next, desperate move. Five foot two, and in as blue a mood as the scarf around her neck, it is Miss Prunella Face, also known as “that crying chick from the Spursenfreude page on arsenalamerica.com.”

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In a continuing effort to keep all ArsenalAmerica readers up to date, G. Rex reaches his fuzzy green paw into the mountain of mail to answer selected questions…

Alright, the first one is actually an e-mail, from Bill and Melinda, from Redmond, Washington. They write:

Dear G. Rex:
My husband and I were wondering, is there any prerequisite for joining ArsenalAmerica? I mean, he's a little nerdy, and socially quite awkward. Is there any way to "fit in" with a crowd like yours?
-Bill and Melinda (just Melinda, really)

Well, Melinda, one of the cool things about ArsenalAmerica is that the only thing that’s required is that you have to like Arsenal. You don’t even have to live in America! Soccer doesn’t have to be your favorite sport; you don’t have to hate ManU or Spurs; you don’t even have to use terms like “boot,” “pitch,” or “putting a dent in the old onion bag.” Of course, convincing your husband to contribute a modest honorarium might help.

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