Aug 07
Time to get back into the swing of things and what better way than with a new Unmitigated Crap Index:
Spurs: Look out, they?ve got Bobby Convey. Still crap.
Chelsea: Look out, they?ve got gobs of dosh! Still crap.
Liverpool: Look out, they?ve got Harry Kewell. Still crap.
Newcastle United: Look out, they?ve got Woodgate and Bowyer. Still crap.
Man United: No Beckham, no Veron, but they?ve got Tim Howard. Still crap.
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Mar 27
It’s been awhile since we’ve done one of these. No one more deserving than this crew…
1. Emanuel Petit - Called the Gunners win “lucky”.
2. Marcell Desailly - Said Chelsea would win and Arsenal will get no trophies this year.
3. Peter Osgood - Chelsea has-been calls for injury to Jeffers.
4. Chelsea fans - Throw objects at Henry, again.
5. Chelsea FC - The whole lot of you are wankers.
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Jan 16
Once again it’s time to take a look at the world of football, point fingers and declare someone ‘Unmitigated Crap.”: 1. Spurs - They signed Sergei Rebrov for 11 million pounds in 2000, now they’ll sell him for a fraction of that. Hey Spurs, you might want to take a look at how Wenger does it. BUY low and SELL high.
2. Gazza - Enough already.
3. The Media - Please stop playing the role of enabler for Gazza. Just stop covering him already.
4. Chelsea - Nice pitch.
5. Charlton - You could have played Chelsea on fresh sod, on top of a billiard table, or the surface...
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Dec 17
1. Liverpool - 1 point out of their last 18
2. Bigsoccer.com - That’s ok, we didn’t need that last month of threads
3. Leeds - Falling faster than Enron stock
4. Bolton - Got thumped by Leeds
5. Arsenal - 3 losses all of last year, already 4 this season
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Dec 06
Five reasons you’re glad you don’t root for United:
1. Diego Forlan - Expensive Crap. 2. Juan Sebastion Veron - Really High Priced Crap. 3. Sir Alex Ferguson - Loud-mouthed Crap. 4. Laurent Blanc - Old Crap. 5. The Neville Brothers - Just Plain Crap.
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Sep 20
The Latest (Lack Of) Power Rankings
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Aug 30
“Time for a new UCI…
1. Spurs - Tied for the top of the table! Still crap.
2. Portugeuse Football - Bumped out of the World Cup early, and couldn’t even get one club in the Champions League.
3. Umbro - Makers of the Zyklon soccer boot. By the way, Zyklon is the name of a nerve gas the Nazis used.
4. Celtic - No Champs League this year, but a Scottish League Championship no doubt. Woohoo!
5. Brian Clough - This needs a bit of explaining. In the September issue of FourFourTwo magazine he refers to Arsenal as one of ManU’s main challengers for the title. Brian,...
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Jul 25
“Time to break out one of our favorites from last season, the UCI. Let’s take a look at the issues concerning football fans today…
1 Richard Wright – Enjoy Div.1 next year Richie
2 Gazza – Enjoy MLS
3 Bigsoccer.com – You lose all our posts, AND you hit us up for a premium service?
4 Brian Tindle – That’s no way to treat a lady!
5 Arsenal’s New Away Kit – Thought about it, but no, it’s still horrid.
180″
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